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Helpful Tips for Job Applicants March 20, 2007

Posted by Mitchell in Politics.
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When you fill out an application for employment, it’s usually a good idea to look it over carefully a time or two before submitting it.  Just by taking a couple minutes more you can avoid making some silly mistakes that just might edge you from the Interview pile to the Don’t Interview pile.

It’s hard to retain credibility that you’re “detail oriented” when your application is riddled with typos.  It’s particularly bad when you misspell the name of the company you started yourself.  Alas, a quick proofreading will not fix all things, such as the all too common sad deficiencies in writing skills courtesy of the gubbermint publick skool edjucayshun sistem.

Also, please don’t KEEP THE CAPS LOCK ON WHEN YOU ARE DESCRIBING YOUR JOB EXPERIENCE.  IT’S REALLY ANNOYING.  Somewhat more disconcerting, however, is all the rest of the application not in all uppercase and written in a distinctly different style.  What’s up with that?  Did one of your other personalities take over, or did you have someone else with better typing skills finish your application?

Complete sentences.  Too much to ask for?  Probably.  Being that it is an abomination any sentence that starts with the word “Being” should be taken out and shot and buried in a shallow, unmarked grave in unhallowed ground.  So, you know how some people like, write how they talk?  They just totally don’t understand how there’s like this other way of writing that’s like more formal and stuff.  Then there’s those people who never got the hang of possessive vs. plural nouns – the use of words ending in ‘s and s’ probably look pretty arbitrary to you don’t they? 

My boss says that I shouldn’t be too hard on some of them – English is obviously their second language, and it’s a notoriously difficult one to learn.  And, no – they’re not from where you think they’re from.  Heck, one of them listed a language I’d never heard of before, so I googled it.  Ah.  Yes, quite a few people are coming here from that general region. 

All-in-all though, it looks like we have some good, strong candidates this time around, a few with military backgrounds.  I’m looking forward to the interviews, they are always interesting.  Some successful candidates of past interview boards I’ve been on later told me that they thought I was rather intimidating.  Heh.  FEAR ME!

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Comments

1. Retired Geezer - March 21, 2007

Yeah, the ‘to, too, two’ enigma always fools them to.

heh

2. S. Weasel - March 22, 2007

One of my favorite resumés — favorite for its sheer awfulness — was from a guy…let’s call him Bob Johnson. It was a color photo of Bob standing in the forest in Autumn, staring into the camera soulfully surrounded by red and gold leaves. This was before color bubblejet, so this thing set ol’ Bob back a few bucks. It had type superimposed on it, something like:

Bob Johnson
Creative
Playful
Serious
Inventive

We amused ourselves all week rewriting his resumé:

Bob Johnson
Dipstick
Buttmunch
Wiener
Goofball

3. kevlarchick - March 23, 2007

Bob Johnson
Gaywad.

I had to scold my dad when I saw his resume. He has his Army pic on there. He looks good and mean, but the pic is 50 years old.

Enas, you missed me and Lipstick rampaging thru Vegas last week. Next time, you are driving.

4. Enas Yorl - March 23, 2007

Yeah I saw that over at IB. It looks like y’all had a fun time. Next time shoot me an e-mail and we’ll get together.

5. Elzbth - March 23, 2007

Would you dare to correct KC’s grammar or Lipstick’s spelling? Being as your so gud at that, and al.

6. Enas Yorl - March 24, 2007

Well, sure! Proper grammartizing and spellifying is very important!

7. geoff - March 24, 2007

Meaning we shouldn’t look too closely at the title of the preceding post.

8. Enas Yorl - March 24, 2007

Yah, ok Mr. Persnickety. Fixed now.

9. geoff - March 24, 2007

Heh. Irony is just so ironically ironical. Like when I was railing on the mispronunciation of “forte” and misspelled “pronunciation” throughout the post. And subsequent comments.

10. kevlarchick - March 26, 2007

geoff, I’m still not sold on your “forte” argument.

Enas. Your grammification looks to be satisfactorial.

11. geoff - March 26, 2007

From There is No Zoo in Zoology and Other Beastly Mispronunciations:

When forte means a strong point, something at which a person excels, it should be pronounced in one syllable, FORT. (The word comes from the French fort, strong, which is also pronounced in one syllable, though without the T sound at the end). FORT is the traditional pronunciation for this meaning of the word and is still preferred by all my current sources.

Don’t even mess with Charles Harrington Elster.


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